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6 Wedding Traditions Planners Say Are Overrated (and Why Modern Couples Are Ditching Them)

Sarah Johnson

 

Weddings have always been steeped in tradition—but with average US wedding budgets hitting $36,000 in 2025, couples and planners are questioning whether some customs still serve them well. Business Insider surveyed experienced wedding planners, and here's what they revealed:

1. Sleeping Apart Before the Big Day

Historically rooted in arranged marriages and ensuring "virginity," the idea of the couple spending the night apart no longer resonates with most modern partners. As planner Lara Mahler notes, staying together—waking up side by side, keeping morning routines—builds comfort and keeps costs down.

2. Insisting the Bride–Wear White

While white gowns are traditional thanks to Queen Victoria, many planners say brides shouldn’t feel restricted. Roughly 15% of brides now choose ivory, blush, or even bold colors that reflect their personalities—embracing what truly feels like them.

3. Uniform Bridesmaid Dresses

Matching bridesmaid dresses can backfire when body types and styles vary widely. Lauren Zizza suggests a more inclusive approach: set a color palette, let each person choose their cut—promoting comfort and natural photos.

4. Father Walking the Bride Down the Aisle

This tradition symbolizes a transfer of “ownership,” which many now find dated. Alternatives include walking together, walking with both parents, or entering independently—better reflecting modern family structures.

5. Bouquet & Garter Tosses

Once popular, these rituals now feel awkward for many guests. Couples—especially those influenced by Gen Z trends—prefer skipping them, or replacing them with creative alternatives like heartfelt giveaways or song dedications.

6. Garter Toss

Similar to the bouquet toss, the garter routine can be cringey and out of touch. Many planners recommend toning it down—or skipping it entirely.

Why These Traditions Are Being Replaced

  • Personal comfort: Couples prefer to enjoy their day authentically rather than perform outdated rituals.

  • Cost efficiency: Avoiding unnecessary traditions helps keep budgets in check amid rising costs.

  • Cultural relevance: Modern values prioritize equality, inclusivity, and personal expression over rigid, symbolic norms .

Tips for Planning an Authentic Wedding

  • Prioritize what matters to you: Skip rituals you don’t connect with—whether it's traditional entrances, throwing flowers, or solo dances .

  • Choose personal over performative: Replace throwbacks with something meaningful—custom vows, family stories, favorite music.

  • Include everyone comfortably: Let your bridal party express themselves through individual styles, instead of uniformity.

  • Keep guests involved without pressure: Provide genuine hospitality, not forced traditions like cash bars or endless photo ops .

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