On a recent episode of her podcast IMO, Michelle Obama sat down with her brother Craig Robinson to reflect on how their parents modeled a powerful form of authenticity in family life. What struck her most? Their willingness to admit they were figuring things out rather than pretending they had it all together.
Michelle described an unforgettable moment from her childhood: her mother, Marian Robinson, openly saying, “I don’t know if I’m doing this right—I’m learning as I go.” That simple line resonated deeply with her. It showed Michelle and Craig that parenting isn’t a blueprint; it’s a journey filled with guesses, adjustments, and growth.
Craig chimed in, admitting that witnessing their parents’ vulnerability taught him to extend grace to himself as a father. He realized it was okay to say, "I'm not sure how this works either." That humility, he noted, isn’t a weakness—it’s a source of genuine connection that bridges the gap between adult and child.
Michelle also emphasized how their parents maintained authority without slipping into perfectionism. They were real—“plain,” as she put it—but not ineffective. Their openness made the household a place where trust and respect thrived. It taught Michelle something invaluable: you don’t need to be perfect to be respected.
“So many parents feel like they have to show up flawlessly, or else they’ll lose authority or respect,” Michelle said. Instead, Marian and Fraser Robinson chose honesty. They said, “We’re doing our best—and yes, sometimes we get it wrong.” That was enough.
This struck a chord beyond the Robinson family. Public figures like Kate Hudson, who apologized to her kids after screw‑ups, and Miley Cyrus, who’s spoken about realigning expectations of her parents, echoed the same truth: parenting is human, messy, and real.
Why This Matters Now: The Rise of “Overparenting”
Michelle’s reflections align with a broader shift in parenting culture. On a recent podcast, she cautioned against the urge to micromanage our kids’ lives. Today’s parenting trends often fall into two extremes: overly protective “gentle parenting,” or overly strict “helicopter parenting.” While well-intentioned, these methods can stifle children’s ability to learn, fail, and grow on their own.
Michelle argues for something healthier: granting children autonomy while maintaining compassion and accountability. By witnessing a parent’s honesty—“I don’t have all the answers”—kids feel seen, trusted, and empowered. They learn it’s okay to make a mistake, because their parents make them too.
Vulnerability: The Unexpected Teacher
So, what does vulnerability teach? Here are a few ways:
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It builds trust. When parents admit they don’t know everything, kids feel closer and more comfortable sharing their own doubts.
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It models humanity. Children learn that being human means being imperfect—and that's okay.
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It promotes resilience. When parents own their failures, children learn to bounce back from their own.
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It balances power. Authority doesn’t come from being flawless—it comes from being real and fair.
Michelle and Craig’s parents struck this balance beautifully. They remained figures of trust and respect, while showing their children the value of self‑reflection and personal growth.
What If All Families Did This?
Imagine homes where parents said:
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“I messed up—can we talk about what happened?”
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“I don’t have the answer today, but I’ll find out with you.”
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“We’re in this life together, me included—mistakes, doubts, and all.”
Such honesty would likely change how children view themselves and their place in the world. They’d see life as a shared human journey, not a performance of perfection.
Practical Tips for Vulnerable Parenting
Here are some simple ways to bring more honesty into daily parenting:
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Normalize your mistakes. Acknowledge them openly ("I overreacted—sorry about that").
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Frame learning as family growth. ("We’re figuring this out together.")
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Apologize with sincerity. Kids remember empathy more than absolutes.
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Encourage their questions. ("I'm not sure—let’s explore that.")
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Reflect publicly. Say aloud: “That didn’t go as planned—what can I do differently?”
These small moments can reshape family dynamics, building trust and empathy that last a lifetime.
A Broader Shift in Parenting Culture
Michelle’s message is part of a growing wave of cultural change. Parents like Kate Hudson and Miley Cyrus have spoken up about forgiving themselves to become better emotional guides for their children. Parenting experts agree—creating space for kids to make mistakes helps them grow into resilient adults.
Michelle’s powerful insights remind us: acknowledging imperfection is not a flaw in parenting. It’s a feature—a bridge to deeper connection and shared humanity.
In a world that often feels curated, especially via social media, Michelle Obama’s family wisdom is a breath of fresh air. It’s simple yet profound: you don’t have to be perfect to be a powerful parent. Your honesty can help shape emotionally intelligent, confident, and flexible children.
So next time you find yourself saying, “I have no idea what I’m doing,” say it. It might just be the bravest—and most important—thing you can say to your child.
