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| Nicholas Gilpin and his son enjoy a day out. Nicholas Gilpin |
For most of his adult life, Nicholas Gilpin was defined by long hours, corporate deadlines, and the steady climb of his consulting career. With an MBA and years of experience in information technology, he had carved out a successful path at firms like KPMG, one of the “Big Four” consultancies, where 100-hour workweeks were not uncommon. Yet beneath the veneer of achievement lay a deep exhaustion that no promotion or paycheck could cure.
Today, Gilpin’s life looks radically different. At 38, he is a stay-at-home father in Fair Oaks, California, spending his days with his two young sons instead of managing million-dollar projects. The transition from corporate boardrooms to playrooms was not part of his original career plan, but nearly three years later, he says the change has given him something his former life never could: time he can never get back with his children.
The Road to Burnout
Gilpin’s years at KPMG were intense. He recalls weeks where he barely slept, running between client sites and juggling endless meetings. The constant demand to deliver high-stakes technology implementations left little space for rest, let alone family life. In late 2021, hoping for a change of pace, he joined Crossfuze, a consulting company, as a project manager. Yet even there, the cycle of pressure and long hours followed him.
By 2022, when his wife was pregnant with their first child, it became clear something had to give. Her pregnancy required extra care and frequent doctor visits, and Gilpin found himself torn between client demands and family responsibilities. “Supporting my wife and keeping up with work was becoming impossible,” he said. Two weeks before the birth of his first son conceived through IVF after years of trying Gilpin walked away from consulting and into full-time parenthood.
Choosing Family Over a Paycheck
Financially, the decision was not insignificant. At Crossfuze, Gilpin had been earning $135,000 annually, and giving up that salary could have been daunting. But he and his wife had always envisioned a household where one parent stayed home. “We saw having a parent at home as more valuable than maintaining two incomes,” he explained.
Rather than outsourcing childcare to daycares or babysitters, they wanted to ensure their children’s earliest years were spent under their direct care. For Gilpin, that meant full immersion: cooking nearly every meal, handling potty training, going for walks, playing in the backyard, and sometimes even sleeping in the same room as his sons. His wife, who works as a licensed mental health counselor, takes over in the evenings and on weekends, ensuring that both parents share active roles in raising their boys.
Making Sacrifices to Make It Work
The decision to live on one income required financial discipline. The couple purchased a duplex, renting out half to help cover the mortgage, and made careful choices about spending. Gilpin limits his own purchases to essentials like supplements and a gym membership, while his wife’s parents and his mother help with supplies for the children. “Every dollar has a job,” he said, acknowledging that the shift required both intention and sacrifice.
Still, the financial trade-off has not erased all of his doubts. “I feel guilty for not providing as much,” he admitted. The societal expectation that men must be financial providers still weighs on him, even as he reminds himself daily that his presence as a father is a different kind of provision one that money cannot replace.
The Challenge of Isolation
If the financial shift was one adjustment, the emotional transition was another. For most of his career, Gilpin thrived on client interactions and professional networking. Suddenly, his days were consumed by conversations with toddlers. While deeply rewarding, it could sometimes feel isolating. “I miss adult conversations,” he confessed, noting that he occasionally feels like he’s falling behind professionally.
The timing of his career break only underscored this fear. Just a month after his first son was born, ChatGPT was released, ushering in a wave of AI-powered innovation that has reshaped the consulting world. “Seeing the way AI has been implemented makes me feel like I’m missing out,” he admitted.
Redefining Career Ambitions
But rather than let the feeling of professional regression consume him, Gilpin has channeled his energy into building something new. During his children’s naps and evening downtime, he works on his entrepreneurial ventures and his upcoming book, Thriving Dad, which explores the modern fatherhood experience.
Ironically, the same AI tools he once feared would leave him behind have become powerful allies. “I use ChatGPT as a personal assistant,” he explained, noting that it helps him organize ideas, streamline coding tasks, and chip away at his business plans a few hours at a time. While he may not be climbing the corporate ladder, he’s slowly constructing a different kind of career one that accommodates his role as a father first.
Breaking the Cycle of Fatherlessness
For Gilpin, perhaps the most powerful motivation comes from his own childhood. He grew up without a father figure, and being present for his sons is his way of breaking that cycle. “Time is invaluable when children are young, and I want to pour this experience into my sons,” he said.
The rewards, while sometimes subtle, are profound. Recently, his eldest son told him, “I love you, daddy,” for the first time. That moment, he said, meant more than any client victory or corporate promotion ever could. “When I look at my boys, I see a lot of love every single day,” Gilpin reflected.
Redefining Success
Three years ago, Gilpin measured success by billable hours, client satisfaction, and salary. Today, success looks like giggles in the backyard, bedtime routines, and milestones like first words. He acknowledges the guilt, the isolation, and the financial strain but he also insists that the trade-offs are worth it.
“I may not be providing financially in the same way,” he said, “but I’m giving my sons what I never had. And that, to me, is success.”
