We were watching the film Mulholland Drive yesterday when a realization struck us like a bolt of lightning: so many times in life, we misread a situation completely. We convince ourselves we understand what’s happening, but our assumptions quietly steer us far off course.
It’s like playing golf with only three clubs in your bag and insisting on using them for every single shot. Or like looking at the world exclusively through a zoom lens, never stepping back to take in the wide-angle view. Or worse still, blindly following someone else’s perspective without questioning if it truly applies to your own life.
The Problem With Living on Old Information
For most of us, much of our understanding of the world comes from patterns formed in our early years. We gather lessons, beliefs, and mental shortcuts that help us make sense of life. But here’s the catch: when something new happens, we often go straight back to the past to interpret it. We view every new event through the lens of old experiences.
The result? We live inside an illusion. Our perception is colored by the “tinted spectacles” of habit and bias. We behave as though we are a hammer and therefore, everything we see must be a nail.
And here’s the truth: that approach doesn’t work.
Why We Misinterpret So Easily
What surprised us was how quickly we fell into the trap. How naturally we tried to make the present fit into something familiar. We sought closure, comfort, and categories as if our minds were librarians filing every event neatly into a labeled box:
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“That’s family business.”
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“That’s rude behavior.”
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“That’s unacceptable in public.”
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“That person is uneducated.”
Categorizing is efficient it helps us move through life without constant analysis. But when we overuse it, we reduce people and situations to oversimplified labels. We limit what we can see and understand.
The Danger of a One-Tool Life
Relying on one mental tool like the hammer is deeply restrictive. Imagine being a carpenter whose only instrument is a hammer. You’d try to fix everything by pounding it, even when what’s needed is precision, patience, or a completely different skill.
This isn’t just a metaphor for work; it’s a metaphor for life.
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How can we discover our true calling if we respond to every challenge in exactly the same way?
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How can we help our children grow if all they ever see is one repeated reaction?
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How can we adapt to societal changes if we keep applying outdated reasoning?
Howard Schatz, the celebrated New York dance photographer, once wrote:
“I told each dancer that when it was easy, it had probably been done before, probably many times. I explained that only when it was so hard that it was nearly impossible were we perhaps close to getting something unique and extraordinary.”
Perhaps that’s the root of the problem pushing beyond what’s comfortable is hard work. And as humans, we often avoid that effort.
The Hidden Role of Fear
When we dig deeper, a more uncomfortable truth emerges:
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Maybe we cling to categories because we fear the unknown.
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Maybe we avoid authenticity because it forces us to stand out.
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Maybe we prefer being ordinary because being extraordinary requires responsibility.
Fear convinces us it’s safer to stick with what we know, even when what we know doesn’t serve us. It keeps us recycling the same behaviors, making the same choices, and burying the potential of who we could truly be.
Fear stops us from:
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Leading ourselves into new territory.
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Letting go of the past.
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Breaking out of habitual patterns.
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Uncovering our natural strengths.
As Abraham Maslow put it:
“A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.”
Choosing to See Beyond the Nail
We want more than a life defined by habit and fear. We want to tap into our uniqueness, to discover the energy that flows when we’re doing what we were meant to do. We want to live “in the flow,” as many authors describe that state where passion and purpose merge, and work feels almost effortless.
But to get there, we must first set down the hammer. We must gather new tools, open our perspective, and be willing to meet each situation with curiosity instead of assumption.
Because life is far bigger than a single nail. And we are capable of far more than one way of responding to it.
