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| Cache Merrill, a startup founder and father of three, said that his children's disappointment when he's had to prioritize work over family has been a wake-up call. Cache Merrill |
Cache Merrill, a 48-year-old tech founder from Sandy, Utah, shared his journey balancing startup life with fatherhood. This as-told-to essay has been edited for clarity and length.
I launched my startup when my kids were just 1, 4, and 7 years old.
My background is in software engineering. Early in my career, I worked with both startups and established companies, learning the intense demands of the tech world.
In 2009, I co-founded Zibtek, a software development firm that has grown quickly over the years. But while leading a growing company has been rewarding, juggling that with raising a family has been one of the most difficult challenges of my life.
Founding a Startup Meant Long Hours and Constant Guilt
There’s no such thing as “clocking out” when you’re a founder. I’ve often worked 60 to 70 hours a week late nights, weekends, whatever it takes. And that leaves very little time for family.
Even when I’m physically present, I’m mentally tethered to work. I’m constantly answering late-night messages, handling client demands, and leading my team. As a founder, there’s pressure to be always available because clients and teams expect immediate solutions.
My team is understanding, but the weight of being “on” 24/7 takes a toll. And it often feels like I’m failing both at home and at work.
My Kids’ Disappointment Was a Gut Punch
When my kids were younger, I tried to be there for breakfast, bedtime stories, soccer games but it wasn’t consistent. I was missing more and more dinners.
One night, after walking in late from a project deadline, my youngest looked at me and asked, “Daddy, why don’t you eat with us anymore?” That question hit hard.
Moments like that weren’t rare. I remember choosing a high-stakes client meeting over my oldest child’s school performance. My spouse understood, but the disappointment on my child’s face afterward stayed with me. I knew I’d made the wrong choice but I couldn’t take it back.
Years ago, our middle child, now nearly 20, began asking why I worked so much. That conversation became a turning point. It forced me to reflect deeply on how I’d been showing up or not for my family.
I Had to Learn the Hard Way That Balance Matters
In the early days of building the company, I believed that working harder would fix everything. But I learned that constant work at the expense of family just leads to burnout and regret.
The truth is, my work and family are not separate they’re deeply connected. And I’ve come to see that setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.
Prioritizing family has helped me become a better leader. It has taught me empathy, clarity, and perspective all things that help me make better decisions at work.
The culture of flexibility in tech has become a blessing. Between intense sprints at the office, I carve out time to unplug for dinners, road trips, or just being present at home. Those moments help recharge me for the demands of business leadership.
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| Cache Merrill with his wife and kids. Cache Merrill |
I’m Still Learning But I’m Committed to Doing Better
Today, my kids are 16, 19, and 23. Our time together looks different now. I’m no longer reading bedtime stories or helping with homework. Now, it’s about late-night conversations talking about the best and worst parts of their day, just being there.
As they grow into adulthood, I want to be more intentional than ever. That means creating structure around my work schedule, delegating more, and truly disconnecting when I’m with my family.
Over the past few years, I’ve gotten better at silencing my phone during dinner and focusing on what’s in front of me. It’s still a work in progress, but I’ve realized that being a present father not just a provider is the legacy I want to leave behind.
Balancing fatherhood with the relentless pace of tech entrepreneurship is tough. But it’s a challenge I’m committed to showing up for every day.
