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| Michelle Obama wants her daughters to "date a lot." Arturo Holmes/Getty Images |
Former First Lady Michelle Obama has never been one to shy away from speaking honestly about love, relationships, and the lessons she’s learned along the way. In the latest episode of her IMO podcast — which she cohosts with her brother, Craig Robinson — Obama opened up about the guidance she gives her two daughters, Malia and Sasha, when it comes to navigating the dating world.
Her key message? Keep an open mind, embrace new experiences, and most importantly — date a lot.
“I just try to get them to stay open to people,” Obama explained during the Wednesday episode. “The thing that I did do was date a lot. And so when Barack showed up, I had experiences to compare him against. Like, I knew a lot of the ‘I didn’t like this, I didn’t like that.’”
By encouraging her daughters to meet different people, Obama believes they will be able to recognize the qualities they truly value in a partner — and quickly identify red flags when something isn’t right.
Learning Through Comparison and Experience
For Obama, dating isn’t just about romance — it’s a process of self-discovery. By spending time with different personalities, she says, people gain a clearer understanding of their own preferences, boundaries, and needs.
“My whole thing is, date a lot,” she said. “And if you run into a bad date or have a bad experience, move on quickly. Don’t stay around. It’s like, if it’s not working, next.”
It’s advice rooted in the belief that relationships should add value to life rather than drain it. For the Obamas, sharing personal stories from their own dating past has been a way to connect with their daughters and offer real-life examples of what to look for — and what to avoid — in a partner.
Balancing Love Languages
Michelle Obama has previously spoken about the ways she and former President Barack Obama differ in how they express love — a reminder that even the strongest relationships require adaptation and compromise.
In 2023, she revealed that Barack is naturally more verbally and physically affectionate, while she gravitates toward acts of service and quality time. This difference, she explained, comes from their family backgrounds.
Barack grew up with family members living far away and often learned to maintain relationships over long distances. Michelle, on the other hand, was raised in a close-knit household where family members were “always together,” which shaped how she perceives intimacy and care.
Expert Backing on the Power of Dating Around
Relationship experts often echo Michelle Obama’s advice. In 2022, dating coaches and therapists shared with Local press that exploring different connections can help people refine their approach to relationships.
Some of their top tips included:
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Starting a date with a genuine compliment to break the ice.
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Using eye contact as a playful and subtle form of flirting.
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Ending a first date with a light, “accidental” touch to build connection.
These strategies, they say, can make dating more enjoyable while providing valuable insight into compatibility.
A Modern Approach to Relationship Readiness
Michelle Obama’s dating philosophy reflects a modern, proactive approach to relationships — one that values experience, self-awareness, and decisiveness. Rather than waiting for the “perfect” partner to appear, she believes young people should actively engage in meeting others, learning from each encounter, and not hesitating to walk away when something doesn’t feel right.
It’s advice that resonates beyond her daughters, speaking to anyone navigating today’s complex dating landscape. And coming from one of the most admired women in the world, it’s a reminder that even great love stories often begin with a lot of trial, error, and the willingness to keep looking until it feels right.
