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| Joshua Webley settled down in Malaysia last year and started an expats community to meet new people. Provided by Joshua Webley. |
Ten years ago, I packed up my life in Doncaster, Yorkshire — a town in northern England where most people are born, raised, and stay for good — and decided to see the world. Doncaster was familiar and comfortable, but I wanted something else entirely: unfamiliar landscapes, new cultures, and the challenge of making my own way somewhere completely different.
For the next seven years, I embraced the life of a digital nomad. My work in health insurance for a Thailand-based company allowed me to move from place to place, setting up my laptop in cafes and co-working spaces in countries as varied as Indonesia, Spain, and Morocco. I became comfortable with constant change, knowing that every few months I would pack my bags and start again somewhere new. But everything shifted when I arrived in Malaysia.
Discovering Malaysia — and a Reason to Stay
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| Webley met his wife, Rachel, while living in Kuala Lumpur, the Malaysian capital. Provided by Joshua Webley. |
From the moment I landed in Kuala Lumpur, I knew this place was different. Compared to other parts of Southeast Asia I had explored, Malaysia had a calm energy, a balance between bustling urban life and moments of peaceful stillness. There was a rhythm to the days here — one that seemed less frantic and more livable. I found myself staying longer each time I returned, drawn in by the mix of cultures, the food, and the easygoing warmth of the people.
It was in Kuala Lumpur, too, that I met Rachel, a Malaysian woman who would later become my wife. We crossed paths during one of my extended stays, and slowly the city became more than just a stop on my itinerary. It began to feel like home.
By July 2023, I was ready to put down proper roots. I accepted a position with Melbourne Capital Group, a wealth management firm, and committed to moving to Malaysia full-time. The visa process took six months — a long wait — but by January last year, I was officially settled in KL.
The Lonely Reality of Starting Over
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| Webley says he found it hard to genuinely connect with people at professional networking events, so he started hosting expat meetups. Provided by Joshua Webley. |
There’s a hidden side to moving abroad that most people don’t talk about. While the adventure is thrilling, the first months can be incredibly isolating. For me, it hit when the novelty of relocation wore off. I didn’t know the best places to eat, who to call for a drink after work, or even where to go on weekends.
I tried attending networking events, thinking they would be a good way to meet people. But these gatherings were often too transactional. I’d walk away with a handful of business cards from property agents and pamphlets from insurance sales reps, without having had a single meaningful conversation.
I joined an English society in hopes of finding a social outlet, but I quickly realized I hadn’t moved halfway around the world to spend all my time with people from back home. I wanted something different — a way to connect with a truly diverse group, not just people who shared my passport.
A Simple Invitation That Started a Movement
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| Sometimes, they also host volunteer events with the chosen charity afterward. Provided by Joshua Webley. |
One day, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I posted in a local expat Facebook group: “Does anybody want to come out for a curry on Friday?”
To my surprise, twenty-nine people showed up. That evening was easy, warm, and full of conversation. We weren’t there to network or promote anything. We were simply there to share food and stories. That one night became the seed of something much bigger.
Over time, I refined the idea into what’s now called the Curry Club. The format is simple: attendees make a small donation to a local charity, which acts as their RSVP. Everyone pays for their own meal, and we meet at a chosen restaurant. The donation serves two purposes — it ensures that people who sign up actually show up, and it builds a small pool of funds to give back to the local community.
We’ve also expanded the concept beyond curry houses. Some months, we gather over Spanish tapas, Italian pastas, or German sausages. Occasionally, we pair the dinner with volunteer work for the charity we’ve supported that month. The idea is that while we are guests in Malaysia, we should find ways to contribute to the place that has welcomed us.
Building a Community That Extends Beyond Dinner
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| Webley now manages the Expats Club with his wife, Rachel, who is Malaysian. Provided by Joshua Webley. |
The Curry Club quickly evolved into The Expats Club, a broader community of people who have moved to Malaysia from all over the world. It’s no longer just me running it — Rachel now manages the social media and marketing, while members themselves have begun organizing smaller events like golf outings, pickleball games, hiking trips, and even weekend getaways.
We’ve also created special interest groups: a women’s group that Rachel hosts, a retirees’ group, and a network for business owners. People can join as many as they like, finding friends and contacts with similar interests. And it’s not limited to Kuala Lumpur anymore — we now host meetups in Penang and plan to expand to other parts of Malaysia.
Beyond socializing, the group has become a lifeline for practical advice. Members share tips on everything from navigating the visa process to finding an apartment, hiring movers, or choosing the best neighborhood for schools.
Friends Who Feel Like Family
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| People in the community also organize their own smaller meetups now, such as to play golf, pickleball, or go hiking. Provided by Joshua Webley. |
Some of my closest friendships now have come from The Expats Club — many of them with retirees who bring wisdom, humor, and perspective to our gatherings. These are the people who stop by our house, help clean up without being asked, and make sure the night ends at a reasonable hour.
Earlier this month, Rachel and I got married, and the guest list was filled with people I’d met through the club. My best man — the same age as me — planned the bachelor party, but I had to warn him: “Most of the guests are over 70, so let’s keep it light. No wild stunts.”
When you move abroad, you leave behind your old support network. The time difference makes it hard to keep in touch with friends and family back home, and the sense of disconnection can be real. But now, I’m surrounded by a chosen family here — people I trust, laugh with, and see regularly.
The Bigger Lesson
If I’ve learned anything from this journey, it’s that building a life in a new country is about more than just finding a place to live or a job to pay the bills. It’s about creating connections, finding ways to belong, and making your presence a positive part of the local community.
I didn’t plan to start a club when I moved to Malaysia. I just wanted a few people to join me for dinner. But that small step has grown into something much bigger — a network of friendships, a bridge between cultures, and a reminder that sometimes the best way to feel at home in a new place is to invite others to share it with you.
